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Moving out is something we all face at some time in our lives. Unless we’re planning to live in our parents’ basement for the rest of our lives – totally not cool – then moving out and living on our own is a step forward in life we all must make.
Fears Are Normal
When you think about moving into your own place, prepare to feel some serious reservations and anxiety over the prospect. You’ll feel certain that you don’t know what you need to know to live on your own. You’ll even worry about what your parents will think about your idea of moving out.
When you do move out, you’ll feel scared, anxious and lost for a while.
These feelings are normal and are not a valid excuse to stay in the basement. Instead, acknowledge your fears, then move out anyway.
Whether you’re moving into an apartment down the street from your parents’ home, or you’re checking apartments in New York City for rent, realize that phone service works in all these places. You can be across the country from mom or dad and still reach her or him in an instant with a phone call.
One of your best resources for learning is your parents. If you have a question about how to cook something, call mom. If you’re uncertain on which water temperature to set on the washer, call mom. The fact that you aren’t in the basement anymore doesn’t mean mom’s no longer a useful resource.
In fact, she’ll probably be happy to hear from you.
There are no set rules on when you should call mom or how often you should check in. There are a few scenarios when mom’s voice may be the best medicine, however.
- If you feel like your life is a total wreck and will never be right again, call mom. She knows you better than you know yourself.
- If you need someone to tell you if you’re right or wrong, call mom. If you need a little tough love, or a loving someone to tell you to get over yourself, mom is the best one for the job.
- When you need to talk about all the ways you’ve messed up during the week – from dropping the ball at work to bouncing a check at the market – mom is the one who won’t judge. She may not agree with your choices, and will probably tell you so, but she loves you too much to be judgmental.
Cutting the Apron Strings
Moving day doesn’t mark the end of your relationship with your parents. It can signal, however, the beginning of the end of your dependence on them. The best way to make certain your move culminates in your true independence is preparation for those times when calling mom should not be your first option.
- Compile a list of emergency numbers and have them handy on the fridge or programmed into your phone.
- Make certain you have the building super’s number. This is the guy you’ll call when the bathroom door gets stuck.
- Is the bathtub not draining, or the washer backing up in the kitchen sink? This isn’t a mom call; this is a plumber call.
- Find mouse droppings under the sink? Don’t freak out, and don’t call mom. This is an exterminator job.
- First day of subzero temps outside and the car won’t crank. Mechanic call for this one, not mom.
- And as happens every year, it’s time to pay the tax man. Definitely not a mom call (you don’t want her in your finances.) Give your accountant a call; that’s what she’s there for.
If you have questions, call your parents. If you just want to talk to someone who loves you, call your parents. You can stay close even when you live across the country.